It's been a long time since I've posted and there's a lot to catch up my 2(?) readers on, but there's something that I want to post about.
I kind of wanted to do a 9/11 post after watching a special on it tonight, but that's not the reason for a post entitled "Thankful."
No, in fact it is for another scary thing that people do to others -- school shootings.
Today (well technically yesterday since it's 12:22 am ...) a man was shot outside the school where my girlfriend (yes, shock, this will come in a future post) works. The shooter was not after children nor was he after staff, but a man who was a frequent protestor of abortion in the community. He shot him 5 times with a semi-automatic right outside the school. The entire cheerleading squad witnessed the shooting as did other students and had to go to the police precinct to give a statement. School continued, but many students left school with their parents.
The shooter also killed another man in the community leaving 2 dead. It is sad that two people had to die to this maniac gunman, however I am so very thankful that none of the students or staff were harmed. The possibility of stray bullets or ricochets could have been very real.
But she is physically ok as are her students.
And for that I am and will continue to be thankful. ~Ramuh
So I leave in less than 2 weeks. And yet again I have to pack my life away into my car for 2+ months. (Not only that, but I might only have half my car if I have to give someone else a ride >_>) Posting a public to-do list will hopefully keep me slightly more accountable for finishing things. So here we go.
To Do
Attach bike rack to the car
Find and make sure all of my bedding is clean
Go through books and movies and decide what to take and then pack it
Take my clarinet in for an adjustment
Make sure I have all necessary musical supplies packed
Figure out if I want to take my nice music stand
Figure out which guitar to take
Pack clothing
Find and pack all decorations for my room
Clean my room before I leave
Finish at least the two job apps I have in progress
Write all camp sing
Pack speakers
Pack all electric gear (power strip, chargers, etc) in an easily accessible/memorable place
Get my iPod updating off of my mac instead of my pc tower
Put at least one movie on my iPod
Get all of my music, movies, pics and other important things onto my external harddrive
Clean up/organize my stuff in the basement
Clarinet music
Print and make a binder of pop songs tabs to read off when playing guitar
Bring a comfortable folding chair
Figure out which extra classical instruments to take (flute, oboe?, trumpet?)
Pack any games (Quelf, Jenga?)
Things I still need to get
A more reliable sports watch
Posters for my room?
Fun stuff for birthdays while at camp
Batteries
Some more books to read
Tissues
Food
Socks
Clothespins
Cordless phone
I'll probably be adding to both lists as I think of things, but hopefully I'll also be crossing a lot off of both lists as the week and a half progresses. Rule #6. ~Ramuh
This post is going to be difficult for me to write. I knew it last night and I still know it now. But this post needs to be written. I've done all sorts of posts during this blog's time -- and a lot of them are to help keep my friends up to date with my life or to share something fun/cool or to bring up and issue, etc, etc. This post, however, is purely for me. The posts that I do on this thing that are only for me are very few and far between. A lot of times they stay private -- something for me to read when I look back on old posts. I considered whether to keep this one private, but I decided that in the end I would make it public.
So consider this your warning. This post is for me. If you would like to continue reading, you can. Chances are if you are reading this you know me, with the possible exception of a few xanga surfers here or there. So just know that I'm not writing this to try to make you feel guilty, I just need to write this so I can move on.
Without further ado ...
Yesterday was my birthday. It was a pretty average day with the exception of presents and cake and such. I went running in the morning, read a book, worked on some stuff for camp, etc.
Here's the thing. With the exception of my immediate family I got a call from my grandma and a card from my great aunt. I got one belated birthday message on facebook and earlier in the week a package from a friend from camp that had a card, a letter, and 2 cds in it. From all of my friends on my birthday I got not one single facebook message, text message, email, or phone call.
I have a general dislike of my birthday. I've pretty sure I've done a post on this in the past. This is because I generally don't know how to deal with so much attention. However, there is a smaller part of me that enjoys it. It's a day that is special for me. I don't like to broadcast my birthday (i.e. why I don't have it on facebook) because to me that's saying "HEY EVERYONE POST ON MY WALL BECAUSE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" And that's just not my style. Even though I don't like to broadcast my birthday, knowing that people at least thought of me enough on one day a year to call or facebook even if it's just "happy birthday" is nice.
I'm a very independent dude. I don't really rely on others very much and can enjoy being alone as much as I can when I'm with others. But just like you I'm a human being. I need human contact as much as the next person. And just as much as the next person I need to know that my friends and family care about me. I know that they do, but it's nice every once in a while to see it. Unfortunately this year the one day it would usually happen, well ... it didn't.
Which leads me to ask, am I making too much a deal of this? Sure, it's just a birthday. It's not that big of a deal, right? But I started to think about it and this is just a plot on the curve. During college I don't think a single non-music friend came to a concert. That's at least two concerts per semester for 8 semesters. At least 16 concerts. While I was student teaching I didn't once get even asked if I had any concerts. 4 concerts. 0 interest. Last summer when I was gone for 2 and a half months I got maybe 2-3 emails and only a couple phone calls from anyone other than Beth. There's no need to apologize. I haven't said anything, and if I had you would know that it bothered me. But again, that's not really my style. Yesterday just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Which leads me to ask -- am I just that forgettable or do my friends just not care that much? ~Ramuh
Celebrate what's right with the world. It's such a simple concept, but so hard in practice. That's the problem with the world. We live in a society where 99 days out of 100 the first 2, 3, 5, or 10 stories on the news are negative. We live in a competitive world where you have to fight for everything -- jobs, school admissions, love -- everything. Everything has a winner and a loser. And then, maybe at the end of that newscast, you get a funny or positive story. A good note to end on. Shouldn't we be starting with those good notes? And ending with them.
Celebrate what's right with the world. "I'll believe it when I see it." Such a common mantra. I've had it. You've had. We've all held that to be true at one time in another in our lives. "I'll believe it when I see it." But when I say that, well, I never end up seeing it. No, it's not "I'll believe it when I see it," it's "I'll see it when I believe it." Just two words swapped and the meaning is completely different. You won't see the right until you believe in the right. It's such a simple, but difficult shift in perception. Sometimes the most simple things to do are the most difficult.
Celebrate what's right with the world. It's easy to see when out in nature. The sunrise. The sunset. The budding flowers. The flowing river or the calm lake. The rolling meadows or thick forests teaming with wildlife. But it's more difficult to see in the people around you. In the person that cuts you off on the road. In the person that takes the last seat on the bus. In the person opposing you on every political or religious stance you hold. In the person that breaks your heart. In your boss or coworkers. Even in your family sometimes. But we can celebrate the right in others when we believe that it's there. Perception is everything.
Celebrate what's right with the world. It's easy to get bogged down in what's wrong with our lives, in our own little worlds. It's easy to get down when everything is going wrong. The key comes in believing -- and the seeing -- the possibility in all things. "By celebrating what's right, we find the energy to fix what's wrong." Celebrating what's right gives us drive, passion, energy, and love. How can anything that's wrong be truly made right without those things?
Celebrate what's right with the world. Change is such a powerful thing. A powerful, scary thing. How dependent we fall on the status quo. I love this. Changing your perception from seeing a change curve to a possibility curve. Things are changing all around us -- sometimes slower, sometimes faster. But the change is inevitable. But oh how boring our lives would be without it! You won't be able to see the possibility in change until you believe it's there. Believing in the possibility of change -- what an emancipating change in view! "Perhaps we can't control it, but we can learn to ride it -- like a surfer on a wave or a bird on a thermal -- to use its power to take us where we want to go; to live in uncertainty yet to act in confidence. Now that's something I can celebrate!"
Celebrate what's right with the world. Celebrate what's right with yourself. Celebrate who you are! Celebrate your successes -- big or small! Celebrate when you learn something new about yourself! Celebrate the drive to better yourself and those around you. Celebrate your own edges -- so that you may discover what they are and push yourself further. Celebrate when you move from simple greatness to significance.
Celebrate what's right with the world. When you do something, celebrate it. Whatever you do, do it. Don't just do it mindlessly as you do 10 other things. But do it. "When I weave, I weave." Celebrate whatever it is that you do -- but remember to celebrate yourself as something different from your craft. "There's no use walking anywhere to preach, unless you're walking as you're preaching." Do not become what you do. You do not have to be ever deciding between who you are or what you do. Move from and/or to both/and. Celebrate the balance in your life.
Celebrate what's right with the world. Celebrate what you do for others and what others do for you. Push yourself to be not just great for others, but significant for others. You will never know the power of what you do for others. Celebrate what's right in the people around you and what they do for you and celebrate the fact that you will have a similar impact in others' lives -- but that you will never know the true impact. Don't strive to be the best in the world -- strive to be the best for the world. You will NEVER in this life know what you can do, but you must believe that you can be truly significant in this world. Because if you don't believe it -- then you will never have any chance to see it.
